Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for February, 2008

>Picture this, you are watching TV and someone interesting is getting interviewed and then some idiot shows up. You know of who I speak of, the attention whore who just has to get their pasty face on TV while talking on the cell phone so he can show how cool he is because he thought of that idea first. Wrong Fucktard! You and people like you need to be Fungo’d with an aluminum baseball bat! Every-single-damn-time I watch TV lately I see these dipshits AND THEY’RE MULTIPLYING! What is it about wanting to be on TV so appealing that you must make your debut as a friggin’ Douche bag? I have seen my fair share of TV cameras from lots of different networks and I usually head the other way when I see them, I have no desire to be on TV let alone look like an idiot in doing so. Besides, if I ever do get on camera, what’s in it for me? I don’t need exposure, I need cash!

To Quote a Whiner Girl post:

YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!

I had thought of posting a picture of one of these ‘tards, but then I thought to myself, “Self…why give them more attention in a visual way?” It’s getting to the point to where I’m actually feeling sorry for reporters and news show hosts that have to deal with this riffraff. New Rule: All media personnel are to be equipped with big red and round fungo bats so that they can fire off at will and the viewing audience can get some REAL entertainment.

I say this to those who feel the need to get their moment of fame in the most lame manner possible: You are as wanted and necessary as dick cheese and should be treated as such. A lot of effort was put into the research in evolution, try not to reverse engineer the process.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

>
It’s “Blow Me Friday”, so time to get it all out. I’m just glad I ain’t trippin’ on pain meds anymore. So, in salute to my farewell to the rush, I give you the bonus of a ‘real’ rush. This video has 3 of the best musicians out there, bar none.

Read Full Post »

>
What was that joke about how riding a moped is like riding a…well anyway, I’ve been seeing this scooter around campus for a while along with others sporting decals like you see in the photo. Stealth? I don’t think so. There ain’t nothing stealth about a scooter other than wishing you had stealth capabilty when seen riding one. I’ve seen othe decals on scooters like, “MVP” or “Future Champion”. If I ever had a scooter and it had those decals on it, the last thing I would feel like is an MVP or a champion of any sort. Truth be told, I was almost in a position to sue those silly bastards for forcing me to piss myself from laughing so hard, it really caught me at the right time and no pain meds were involved. If you are going to own a scooter, keep the cool and edgy decals off of them. The least these stickers could be is realistic. For example, have it say, “Please don’t sneeze or fart near me so I don’t fall over” or “Please refrain from putting baseball cards in the spokes”. How about this one, “Stand clear from the trimmer line” or “This Scooter didn’t get indicted”.

I think that’s enough fun for now. VROOOOM VRRROOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!

Read Full Post »

>Winger Does NOT Suck!

>
Let the beatings begin! I just know I’m gonna get a lot of shit for this, but…Anyway, this is coming from me, a musician and knows what the hell I’m talking about when I say the following, “Winger is NOT a shitty band!” I just got through listening to Reb Beach from Winger (on Eddie Trunk Live) who’s pulling double duty playing for both Winger AND Whitesnake. Those 2 bands were huge in the 80’s and are on the fast track to resurrecting their name and image. Reb actually was very cordial and gave a lot of props to one of the greatest guitarists EVER, John Sykes (no one under the age of 30 can even tie John’s shoes). Winger got a lot of shit from the get-go about everything that they were and I call horse shit! This is all that whiny pussy’s fault, Lars Ulrich (once one of my favorite drummers). If anything, he fanned the flames during interviews and having the famous “Kip Winger Dartboard”.

The guys in Winger have great resumes. Kip played with Alice Cooper, Reb played/plays with Night Ranger, Whitesnake and Dokken, Paul Taylor played with Aldo Nova and Alice Cooper and Rod Morganstein who played with the Dixie Dregs. Point is, if you think Winger sucks, remember that these guys were good enough for the previous gigs they played and saying they suck means saying all the bands I mentioned suck, so know your history. Seems like all the people who I ever met that always talked shit about Winger was not a musician or at least a half decent one.

Growing up, I heard all the Winger jokes and yes I laughed at them(because it was funny so of course I’ll laugh), but I still made a case for them after hearing the joke to much ridicule by the other party(see the last line of the previous paragraph). Bottom line, Winger is a hell of a band and they’re still together and still touring, which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of other bands who people thought were better. So, still think they suck? Let the beatings begin

Read Full Post »

>Piss On Recordings!

>
No one hates talking to a recording more than me and it appears the people at GETHUMAN are as well. The link provided will give you 500 companies and how to get to their “human” operators. To the right, it gives you info on what to push or say. This is good info to keep on your favorites, God knows this topic is more top heavy than Dolly Parton in a centrifuge. Here are some tips from the same website on how to get human operators elsewhere.

Read Full Post »

>That Ain’t Right!

>
I already have enough to bitch about, so I’ll let anybody post what they want. I’ve been so high the last few days, I got a good up close look at that satellite we’re about to shoot down. Keith Richards just called me and said I needed help and Lindsey Lohan just won’t stop calling. I’m entering the withdrawl phase as we speak, I feel it’s time to kick my new friend to the curb.

Read Full Post »

>
The main reason why I say this is because yesterday, I did a half gainer of the top of my steps and took a shot to the small of my back, courtesy of the edge part. Sitting is a problem, but lying flat is an even bigger problem. HOWEVER, things are getting better now, I have Hydrocodone and Skelaxin(ask for them by name). I’d like to thank my connections in the M.L.B for the hookup.

This stuff is great, I cant even feel my fingers typing this out right now. This reminds me of when I was in college in ’89 and on Sunday’s when you couldn’t buy booze in Arkansas, but you could still buy NyQuil and Sudafed. Needless to say I didn’t catch a cold for years.

One should not post while high so for those of you reading this right now, do not attempt this at home, I will not be responsible for your actions…or mine for that matter.

This has been a drug induced thought from a once sober mind.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »