Archive for June, 2009

>When people don’t flush their poop down the toilet, especially in public restrooms. That is just nasty if you ask me.


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I’m saddened by the loss of Oxyclean commercials in the near future. I get so tired of hearing the “they die in 3’s” thing about celebrity deaths. I counter with the argument that they die in ones, anyone care to challenge this theory? I seriously doubt that there is a mystical force at work with the “3’s” theory. If so, who really makes that call? I can see and hear the Grim Reaper now saying to himself, “Okay, Farrah had her time, but she was being a bit of a diva at the end. How do I rain on her parade?…I know, I’ve had my scythe on Jacko for a while, that’ll do the trick, I don’t think I could live through another farewell tour from anyone else this year.”

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I approve this message of death.

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>Today was the day I sent the Stinger Missile to get the front bumper repaired. The job is supposed to take 2 days. With that in mind, I still had things to do, so I asked for a rental car and got one. Unfortunately, this being Missouri, this is what they had in mind for a “rental car”:

I especially love the fact that they made me look over the “damage waiver” just in case I don’t bring this thing back in pristine shape. I informed them of a few scratches I found…including these in the back:

Honestly, did they really expect a rental truck to come back without a scratch around these parts? I also love how they “clean the car up” before presenting it to the next customer. I’ve seen my 9 year-old niece and 6 year-old nephew do a better job of cleaning their rooms and would probably do a better job of cleaning this car for me. Anyway, this wasn’t going to fly with me, so I had them find a smaller car for me, preferably one that got better miles per gallon than gallons per mile like this hog. I ended up eventually trading out with a Nissan Sentra. Who said bitching never gets you anywhere? I spent most my day in Joplin getting some Pibb Zero as I was running low…not anymore:

I figured 24 12-packs would do nicely for a while.

Anyway, now for the real reason for this post. I saw this Yellow ’02 WRX in a car lot in Joplin off of 7th st. What looked great from a distance, turned sour up close. As you can see, it’s fairly decent at first and even decently priced:

My smile didn’t last long as I got a better look at the car and saw very noticeable damage all over it. It was keyed, nicked, scratched and dented including this nasty dent found on the driver’s side:

I saw lots of patchwork and man it made me a bit sad. I also saw it had 143,000 miles on it. Sure it will pick up some dings along the way, but not in the nature of what I witnessed. Damn shame.

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don’t approve of such abuse.

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I had a dream that I got the chance to be in the same room as Obama. In my dream, I was eating at a long dinner table that was lined neatly with expensive linens. I was afraid to pick up the fork because it only had two prongs on it. (???) Suddenly enters Obama. I wanted so very bad to get closer and take pictures, but some lady (who looked like the Queen Elizabeth) “clothes-lined” me and I fell backwards. For the duration of the dream, I desperately tried to get a close-up picture, but was thwarted in every attempt. At one point in the dream, David Robinson (former Spurs player) walked in with his wife, Valerie. They were chatting up a storm with him.
I remember Valerie well from the days I used to work for the Spurs. I spent many years having “cool” conversations with her about her kiddos. However, in my dream, she acted like she didn’t know who I was. ::::sigh::::: (story of my life!)

This morning when I woke up, Obama was CNN. For a split second, I thought to myself, “Hey, I’ve met you.” (yeah, I wish!!)

Anyone care to interpret???

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>The dadburned heat, that’s what. I hates it.

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>After seeing the latest damage to the car as well as the A.C. going out on my house, my car not to be out done BY my house, has the A.C. going out on it s well. I heard the other day a very familiar and unsettling sound, like that of a rusty wheel spinning. The culprit is my A.C. compressor leaking coolant onto the wheel that drives it. I opened the hood to see the ever dreaded familiar sight of green all around the back side of the unit(as seen in the photo):

What else can go wrong this Summer?

I am the Complaint Department Manager and I don’t deserve this message.

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>My apologies Counters.

I am just Sick!! I know, it might be hereditary and, quite possibly, might run in all the males in my family. But I Definitely Know I Am Sick.

Last evening, thejeepjunkie and I were sitting on the front porch, the only one I have here at the Taj Mahal down here in Ormond Beach, Florida, the Birthplace of Speed. Sorry about the quality of this image, but while out on the front stoop, we saw this

I know I can hear you Counters asking “What the hell is it?” See that skinny little line at the corner of that upper concrete pad?

That skinny line is two geckos creating more geckos.

Yeah, Gecko Porn!

I told you I was sick!!

It gets even better.

As we spend about 1/2 hour every weekday evening sitting out there consuming quantities of the aluminum canned beverage that emmanates from that City with the famous Arch and watching those geckos running around, we have pretty much identified each of them. There are about 5 or 6, and while they look similar, like any living, breathing being, they each have distinctive markings and mannerisms.

Well, last night we saw BigUn1 doing the nasty with the Lime Green one, as shown in this image.

Tonite we saw BigUn2 doing the nasty with the same Lime Green one.

The Slut!!

And while BigUn2 and the Lime Green one were doing the nasty, BigUn1 was around the corner walking toward them and they skidattled behind a bush, no pun intended, out of sight.

Yeah, I am sick!

But at least acknowledging that allows me to

Celebrate Life.

Published simultaneously on By The Numbers.

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