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Dear Diary of a Madman,

The Complaints Department PROUDLY endorses Ozzy Osbourne for President. Right now this nation needs a leader, a true man of the people. A man to get both Democrats and Republicans to rally behind him. Someone to get the world to love us again and not fear or be pissed at us. Don’t think of him as a push over though, step out of line and he’ll bite your head off…LITERALLY! What country wouldn’t want Ozzy for a visit? Have a meeting, have an Ozzfest and there ya go, everyone’s happy. The T-shirt sales alone could settle the national debt. Here’s another scenario, instead of an “Oil for Food” program we could have an “Oil for OZZY” program. This is a win-win I tell you. If you give it a chance to sink in, it just makes sense.

I got a chance to look into Ozzy’s soul and I saw a man that could bring peace to a world obsessed with war. Ozzy brings a message peace, prosperity and kick ass Rock n’ Roll! We also won’t have to worry about someone who can just give a good speech, but can’t back it up, besides Ozzy’s normal speech sounds like Katherine Hepburn while running a jack hammer. Nevertheless, I also hope that if elected Ozzy will spend his time trying to heal this world and stop putting out more crappy albums. “No More Tears” was Ozzy’s perdendo and with that needs to take himself in a different direction and this country WILL follow!

Your humble civil servant,

The Complaints Department Manager

So, get ready to hear the State of the Union Jack. Take heed all, THE OZZMAN COMETH!!!

Again, this has been a complex thought from my simple mind.

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